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honouring grief + sadness during covid...

4/27/2020

4 Comments

 
honouring my grief...honouring my grief...

It’s been quite interesting during this time of isolation of the pandemic, the corona virus, covid-19... this morning a dear friend called it the, ‘isolation inflammation’...

When the covid/isolation lock-down began over a month ago, i have to admit i felt a huge wave of relief... where, we and the world could finally, simply, STOP.  

I actually haven’t minded the break at all... have enjoyed resting... ‘being’ and doing some long-overdue tasks that never seemed to get done when i was busy working + teaching.  

However, it’s also been a bit of a stressful time too - not knowing what’s next or when this pandemic will even be over... and, how it’s affecting so many people all over the planet... Many folk are sick and/or dying and numerous lives devastated.  It’s the not-knowing that is the strange feeling, that seems to sit somewhere un-known until...

...out of the blue, i suddenly feel guilty or a sadness comes over me - even some anxiety or fear... like i’m grieving something... or perhaps i’m feeling our Mother earth’s grieving... or what...?

This virus is affecting us all on a global level... and, a few of the positive things that have come out of this is that, just after a few weeks, of the world literally shutting down... it seems our Mother is getting a long-overdue, great big rest - just like us... a time to simply breathe and relax... a big collective ‘sigh’ and just ‘be-ing’...

And, what’s exciting is that all kinds of animals are showing themselves in places that they couldn’t before... waterways are clearing... pollution is lifting and so much more...

Is this a message from our dear Mother?  That perhaps we as a species can slow or halt climate change, if we only slow down and realize what’s truly important?  I myself thought this whole pandemic-thing was initially a ‘distraction’ away from the growing concern of our climate...

Whatever ‘this’ is... we may never know the why... though, what i do know is... when this pandemic is over, our way of being and our world will have shifted and changed... and now is a time where we as a global family can choose to dream our world into being... that our ‘old world’ is dying because it has to... because what we have been creating is not sustainable - it’s NOT working... 

Some wisdom-keepers are saying that we are the new midwives for our beautiful Mother... as she dreams her own dream into being... as we and She are being re-birthed into a whole new way of ‘be-ing’... We certainly live in interesting times eh?... x (((o)))

Below, is a simple ceremony... to help us honour and gently release grief/sadness... knowing that as we release ‘dark + heavy energy’* through ceremony... it falls to our Mother earth where She composts it back into Light... ie., ‘As we feed Her - She feeds us'... a beautiful reciprocal exchange, a sacred relationship...


clearing grief + fears - a simple ceremony...

a grief bundle or altar...my grief bundle or altar...
I have held a “grief bundle” or mesa for a while now and work with it when i feel i need to... This is a simple process... an ancient practice that will honour our grief/sadness + release it through co-creation with the earth’s gifts of cleansing fire + salt through simple ceremony...

What you will need...
  • a cloth - doesn’t matter what colour, though often black is often used...
  • a white candle or two... (matches to light)...
  • a small bowl of water...
  • some salt - about 1/4 cup... (a natural salt like pink Himalayan is good)..
  • some small stones or one stone (from the earth that represent your grief/sadness/fears)...
  • anything else that you wish to include that represents your grief/sadness, etc...

Assemble all your items + to prepare/create ceremony... 
(can be offered inside or out)...
  • be in a quiet space and mindfully open + create a container of sacred space around you... whichever way works for you, as it’s important to ‘be’ in a safe space (ie., turn off phones, etc)... 
  • light the candle(s) - which opens the ceremony...
  • place the salt in the bowl of water + mix...
  • spend some time with each item you have chosen to represent your grief/sadness/fears and when you feel ready, using your breath with intention, blow your feelings into the stone... letting them go to our Mother earth - who will hold those feelings safe within Her belly... 
  • sit within the peace of quiet for as long as you need... knowing that the salt water will draw the grief/sadness/fear out of your body... 
  • when you feel complete, blow the candle(s) out - which completes the ceremony... and close your sacred space around you...
  • your can either wrap your bundle or place as an altar in a special sacred place in your home... 

You can choose to offer this ‘grief ceremony’ as many times as you feel you need to... and when you feel ready, you can disperse the stones back to the earth by burying them, or placing them in the ocean - which will also continue to clear for you...  

It’s an honour to share this simple, yet powerful process with you...
it is my hope it can help during this time or anytime you are in need...
with much love + light, weaver x (((o)))

*NOTE:  ‘dark and heavy energy’ (like grief/sadness, etc) is not negative, positive or bad energy... it’s just simply ‘heavy and dark‘... and it can weigh us down... This type of energy doesn’t serve and often, it’s not even ours to hold... See energy as light or dark, and know the ‘dark’ can be released easily... we don’t have to feel we have to hold onto it... One of the many gifts our blessed earth Mother offers is, She can release that ‘dark’ energy for us - She transforms it, like compost, back into Light - which is who we truly are! 

NOTE:  re washing or what to do with the stone/stones after...
it’s up to you what you choose to do with your stone/stones... check in with them + ask.. sometimes stones have done their work + tell you they need dispersing... they are the wise ones + the story-tellers of our blessed Mother... the land.  and they will tell you.. use all your senses to hook in, ask + listen... as we all connect in different ways.. some see, some feel, some hear, taste, etc.. etc... hope that helps... 
with brightest blessings of much love, wx (((o)))

a grief bundle or altar...
my grief bundle...
4 Comments

a ‘gender twist’ true story...

4/25/2020

0 Comments

 
painting © 2008 by carol weaver...‘then i smoked a peterson pipe' © 2008 by weaver...
This post is to explain, why the ‘big hair’ from a past post titled, ‘my first drum-set is the one i’ll love forever’ >>

Back in 2008, i was accepted into the Vancouver Pride In Art juried art show called “Gender Twist”...  i was thrilled my painting ‘then i smoked a peterson pipe...’ was a part of this wonderful show at Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre.

It’s a self portrait i painted in acrylics on a 4 x 4 foot gallery canvas...  around the outside of the painting are the words:

​“true story... everybody thot i wuz a boy... so, i got my hair permed thinkin’ that would fix it... but that just made it worse,  so, then i smoked a peterson pipe...”

It’s funny, i wasn’t really sure i’d  be accepted into the show... when i entered my submission, i hadn’t painted the final size painting yet... i initially submitted a small 1x1-inch thumbnail study... 

Well, i was accepted into the show... and then, had to paint the full size painting... i had never painted that large before... though i was up to the challenge... It now hangs in a private collection of two dear friends.  It has certainly become one ‘conversation starter’...

When i was growing up, i was definitely a ‘tomboy’.... and, during most of my youth, i was constantly mistaken for a boy... Being already quite androgynous-looking... super skinny with short-cropped hair, always in jeans or shorts, t-shirt and a hat... and, it seemed the older i got into my teens, more-often i was being called ‘son’ or folk being totally confused to ‘what’ i was... 

When i hit high school... being frustrated that folk were continually confused and now, being teased by my peers, i pleaded with mom to get my hair permed... thinking that, if my hair was curly, people would perhaps stop seeing me as a ‘boy’... 

After much pleading, mom finally succumbed to my wish and i finally got my hair permed.

However, the perm went bad turning into a big complete mass ball of frizz... 

Getting a perm didn’t work at all... it made it worse... my crazy hair made me look even more androgynous!  By this time, i was living and working at a summer job in the interior of Naramata BC...

and, “then i smoked a peterson pipe!”

I really did for a time... a bunch of us did...and no one knew who or what we were... and, that didn’t matter... anymore.

0 Comments

drum from your beautiful heart...

4/5/2020

1 Comment

 
Pictureblessed danu...
With your dear drum in hand...  
or... perhaps hold + hug your drum close... heart-to-heart... close your eyes... go within... take a big belly breath...

then, allow that breath to gently fall out... connect in... say hello to the beautiful drum spirit you care for... the spirit of your drum... a living, breathing being of sound-light... say hello... listening... 

“listen, listen, listen... to my heart’s song...
listen, listen, listen... to my heart’s song...
i will never forget you... i will never forsake you...
i will never forget you... i will never forsake you...”

-Parmahansa Yogananda


The above is one way you can connect with your drum - particularly from a spiritual perspective...  i have held weekend workshops where we explore building a spiritual relationship with one’s sacred drum...

Of course, the best way to connect with your drum is to simply PLAY your drum...  and have fun playing... that is most important... 

It’s interesting... i hear from some folk who share with me, that they feel they can’t or don’t know how to drum... i often reply, asking them... “what do you think is the first sound you ever heard was?”

It was the sound of your own Mother’s blood pulsing through her veins while you lived in her womb for nine whole months... all you heard (once your ears were formed) was the flowing of your Mother’s blood... aligned with her beautiful pulsing heart...

You sure do know how to drum because of that First Sound... that first Pulsing from within your Mother... you KNOW this sacred sound well... Our Mother taught you well... this sacred Pulse is a part of who you are... since conception imbued in Rhythm... you are Pulse... Pulse is YOU... and that Rhythm connects us all... heart-to-heart to each other... and, to our blessed earth Mother’s beautiful pulse... Her Heartbeat... the Heartbeat of our Mother...

So, if you feel you can’t drum or wonder how you can drum... just hold your sweet drum right up to your heart... hug that dear soul right to your own heart... connect to your drum’s heart for a moment... make that time... just get quiet... and, with all your senses... listen... what are you feeling?... what are you sensing?... what may you be hearing?... what are you smelling or tasting?... Connecting... exploring and knowing what senses come forward for us, let’s us know how we can connect and access the subtle messages that come from Spirit... from our dear Mother... through our sacred drums... 

Building a relationship with our drum is a practice and... to get to know each other better is to simply practice connecting... the more we practice connecting on this spiritual level... the stronger the relationship builds... 

The sacred drum is + represents the beautiful ‘voice’ of our dear Mother earth... and, what better way to re-connect with our dear Mother than with our sweet drums... sooo... i welcome you go for it... just drum her beautiful voice... have fun + play your drum... 

Below, is a wonderful list of ‘true drumming basics’ that have been shared by Dr. John Diamond who wrote the book, “The Way of the Pulse’”...  what i love about this section of his book is how to ‘get out of head’s’ when playing our drums and to simply... drum from our beautiful hearts... 

and, please... don’t forget to have fun... lots of fun!!


some true drumming basics...

by Dr. John Diamond - an excerpt... with a few additions from me...
  • Play with your heart: wholehearted.  And with Passion: all your fire, filled with Enthusiasm...
  • Every musician emphasizes a different aspect of the totality of the song. Yours is the most important – for rhythm is the most basic as it commences at the beginning of life, in the womb.
  • Choose the drum whose soul you can most easily find.  This will be the one that most expands your chest, opens your heart. (or let the drum choose you!)
  • Feel your chest resonate with the drum.
  • The more your palms are up, the more you can give – as your arms come down, think up – always up.  Let the music lift.  Let it rise up.
  • Loose wrists, body free.  Let your whole body do the playing.
  • Love your left hand.  (or your less dominant hand) It wants to play easier – and it will.
  • Don’t judge your playing – for then, it is not play, but hard work.  Just aim to refine your intention.
  • Think of the drum as your Mother. Are you treating her right?  We don’t beat Her... we play with Her!
  • Remember the sacred drum is an instrument of of love – not war.
  • It’s not the volume, but the intensity of the feeling, at even the quietest level.
  • Feel the Music flowing through all your body.
  • Don’t play the drums – allow them to play you.  This is called the transcendental experience.
  • Always keep in mind that all of you, your Totality – body, mind and spirit – is transmitted in each and every note.
  • Give all of yourself.  This is me. Here I am.  All of me, now.
  • Music can be the easiest way to Heaven on earth – if we want it to be.
  • Look at your hands dancing like Fred Astaires’ feet.
  • Be free – take risks.  You are safe.
  • Always play the melody – and sing it.
  • Imagine the drum is your heart, open in song.  The music its pulse.
  • Be always aware of your breath.  Never jam it.  It must always be free, for only then are you free.  You can’t breathe freely to a metronome or click track.  For they are the beat. The free breath ebbs and flows to its own deep pulsations.
  • When you are playing on the Pulse, it feels like the drum is playing you... and She is...
  • Get on the wave of the Pulse, and ride it effortlessly all the way to the beach!
  • I am real, I’m alive, I breathe.  I pulsate.  I am not a machine.  If they want the beat, they can buy a metronome.
  • Don’t count – feel.  When the math comes in, the joy goes out.
  • Play with joy, with a smile.  If you aren’t enjoying it – stop.
  • Never just practice – that’s just the brain.... Always play, play + play = have fun!!!  :o)​
*The above excerpt from...
The Way of the Pulse by Dr. John Diamond >>

One of my most favourite drum books of all time... i highly recommend it being a part of your library...

​with much love, weaver x (((o)))
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    i wish to acknowledge with gratitude that i live, work + play on the traditional and unceded territory of the Snuneymuxw First Nation...
    carol weaver

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