Good, good news everyone!

Before covid hit last year, i was embarking on finally getting to creating + recording my first (formal) CD… We just got started and then were forced to stop cuz of Covid-19…  stink!

However, as of a couple of weeks ago, we were able to get back into the studio and complete this track we were working on… a cover song by the wonderful Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)… one of my favourite songs i love to play of his, “Don’t Be Shy”… and, i feel it’s message is still very much relevant today…

​What Cat says about his song... 

“One thing about the journey of life is... when you look back and see the pages of the past in a new light... and, i think this song says to me... that, unless good people stand up to be heard... then fear and cruelty will always dominate the world.. so, it’s time for those people to stand up and lift their heads... this is a song that i think talks about that...” 
—Yusuf Islam / Cat Stevens

So, i hope you enjoy… click here to have a listen on my bandcamp page and/or download if you wish… we had a blast recording it… 
with brightest blessings + much love,
weaver x (((?)))

ps… note that the recording credits are on my bandcamp page, by scrolling down the page… 

​poem…

​still now…
though so so much
soothing…moving from

in to out…
out + back in…

a quiet…secret dance
of sorts?…

​x (((💜))) weaver © 2021

​a poem........

yesterday...
i was nudged to journey...
while drawing + painting...
​
something ‘drew’ me in...

go deeper... 
to a rooted place...
buried... threads fragiled...
thin multi-coloured mark-making...
revealing... what?

i tracked...
ever so lightly... tenderly...
my slanted hand steered...
“just go”..........

i offered a wee hello while...
i migrated... wandered... hunted... chased...
that perhaps...

i was on to something......

travelling alongside washed...
black-ink-penned...
shaky-handed....
painted threads of...

my own weave...

she is...

very fine, dazzling tapestry path of filament light...
capturing a glimpse......
my tender glittered strength...
​torn-worn tangles... grief... joy... pain... celebrations...
ancient... new........
​
now...

grief drops...
splashing upon my soaked page...
blending abstract... accident... of be-ing...
inside...
​my owned inked hues...
becoming......

perhaps...
​... a re-weaving?

i will definitely call again soon..... x (((💜)))

Humankind did not invent music... music was already in Nature. Motion gives arising to all sound.

The motion of the wind. The motion of the waters. The motion of the stones. The motion in the fire. The wind alone is an entire orchestra. The motion of the body, all of its internal noises.

​Music is a mirror we hold up to ourselves. In it we see reflected everything we have ever experienced. We see the world around us. We see ourselves. We can see how we listen. We can see how we pay attention. We experience presence. We can see how we make love. We see how we evolve. We can see how we dance...

Dance in a circle, the shape of the drum, the shape of the world. The first drum, the human body, with its senses and its rhythms, then the world, with its endless variety of sounds and rhythms. Lightning-flash, winds blowing and the rain drops falling into a small pool. The senses sense nature, and have their arising from that very nature that they are sensing. Nature's way of realizing itself. And yet what is it that is actually experiencing the sensing?

The listener; did this consciousness come from nature too? A way to sense the sensing? The Earth has taught us all we know about music. It has given us its music. It gives us the tools to make its music. In every sound there is music. Visitors from space bring the earth new songs. They come as beautiful stones of every kind. The universe and the earth make love in this way and they sing together. They have taught us their song in this way. The scratching cicada is the sound of the medicine rattle and our hearts drum out the rhythm as we are giving thanks through appreciation for life itself...

In this way we have learned to play the drum. In this way we have learned to sing, dance and make love. It is all a response, a response to life and being alive in the world. It is the song our parents want us to sing. It is the dance our parents dance. They have taught us this out of love. We are in love when we play music and when we dance. This makes everyone happy. Being in love this way reminds us of our source and there is great joy. The music flows like a flag in the wind and the dance is like that of birds or deer. We play this music and the world listens, impartially, for to nature, it is just another passage in an endless stream of music...

For nature, the entire universe is its symphony, its orchestra and its audience.........

*Excerpted from Breath Was the First Drummer: A Treatise on Drums, Drumming and Drummers by Dru Kristel

​Today was an interesting one, as i found many emotions popping up, out of nowhere… i’ve also been not wanting to do a dang thing - what is that?  Not usually me.  

I won’t go into details except to say, i chose to go down to our local beach, get outside, chill out and ask Spirit for some help... I asked for a sign of some sort, as i was feeling pretty disconnected... 

There’s definitely an ‘uncertainty’ that this covid-time has brought.  The ‘not knowing’ of many, many things that can rattle one’s beingness.    

I sat on the warm sandstone in quiet for a bit and then was prompted to walk out to the water’s edge.  I really appreciated the fresh winds and smells of the beach, the tide was way out... even heard sky drummers (thunder), playing off in the distance.  Opening my arms, i let salted winds blow through me, dropping a heaviness i seem to be holding.

Walking back from the water, at my left, a blue heron gently glided down onto the beach, not 15 feet from me.  Oh, s/he was sooo beautiful.  I was frozen in awe while s/he fished in the little tide pool, calmly sauntering their way to the ocean’s edge.  I offered gratitude for the beautiful gift of heron, so close. I felt lifted, turning to make my way back, picking up a few shells here and there, along the way.

A dear friend driving by, pulled over to say hello and we shared mutual challenges and grief from having aging parents in locked down care homes and hospitals...how hard it feels being so far away from them.  Knowing that this crazy pandemic isn’t ending anytime soon, I wondered if i’ll ever get to see my mother (93) again, as she was in hospital, from falling and breaking her hip.

While we chatted, up in the towering firs were probably five or six ravens shouting vociferously as they played the wind together.  We both shared much needed tears, gave each other a big, distant hug and we each headed back to our homes.

Turning the corner to my road, a flicker woodpecker (the drummer) cried out in the woods beside me. I smiled thanking my ol’ dear ally for the hello. Walking towards our lane, in a neighbour’s yard, a beautiful doe poked her head up out of the long grass.  We both said hi through our eyes, she soon slowly followed me down the gravel road... my heart smiling... 

Holy wow, i sure did receive a message… gifts of deep connection of the heart, the pulsing of our blessed earth Mother... shapeshifting magic within the void of sweet Spirit... self-reliance, and wisdom evolving to a higher place of consciousness and choice.

I am very blessed to be here now in this sacred, green place... Thank you sweet Mother, great goddess, Gaia.  Thank you for holding my back... i bow in deep reverence… Thank you…i trust…

much love...weaver xo ((( ❤ )))

photos by carol weaver © copyright 2020

It’s been quite interesting during this time of isolation of the pandemic, the corona virus, covid-19... this morning a dear friend called it the, ‘isolation inflammation’...

When the covid/isolation lock-down began over a month ago, i have to admit i felt a huge wave of relief... where, we and the world could finally, simply, STOP.  

I actually haven’t minded the break at all... have enjoyed resting... ‘being’ and doing some long-overdue tasks that never seemed to get done when i was busy working + teaching.  

However, it’s also been a bit of a stressful time too - not knowing what’s next or when this pandemic will even be over... and, how it’s affecting so many people all over the planet... Many folk are sick and/or dying and numerous lives devastated.  It’s the not-knowing that is the strange feeling, that seems to sit somewhere un-known until...

...out of the blue, i suddenly feel guilty or a sadness comes over me - even some anxiety or fear... like i’m grieving something... or perhaps i’m feeling our Mother earth’s grieving... or what...?

This virus is affecting us all on a global level... and, a few of the positive things that have come out of this is that, just after a few weeks, of the world literally shutting down... it seems our Mother is getting a long-overdue, great big rest - just like us... a time to simply breathe and relax... a big collective ‘sigh’ and just ‘be-ing’...

And, what’s exciting is that all kinds of animals are showing themselves in places that they couldn’t before... waterways are clearing... pollution is lifting and so much more...

Is this a message from our dear Mother?  That perhaps we as a species can slow or halt climate change, if we only slow down and realize what’s truly important?  I myself thought this whole pandemic-thing was initially a ‘distraction’ away from the growing concern of our climate...

Whatever ‘this’ is... we may never know the why... though, what i do know is... when this pandemic is over, our way of being and our world will have shifted and changed... and now is a time where we as a global family can choose to dream our world into being... that our ‘old world’ is dying because it has to... because what we have been creating is not sustainable - it’s NOT working... 

Some wisdom-keepers are saying that we are the new midwives for our beautiful Mother... as she dreams her own dream into being... as we and She are being re-birthed into a whole new way of ‘be-ing’... We certainly live in interesting times eh?... x (((o)))

Below, is a simple ceremony... to help us honour and gently release grief/sadness... knowing that as we release ‘dark + heavy energy’* through ceremony... it falls to our Mother earth where She composts it back into Light... ie., ‘As we feed Her - She feeds us'... a beautiful reciprocal exchange, a sacred relationship...

I have held a “grief bundle” or mesa for a while now and work with it when i feel i need to... This is a simple process... an ancient practice that will honour our grief/sadness + release it through co-creation with the earth’s gifts of cleansing fire + salt through simple ceremony...

What you will need...

• a cloth - doesn’t matter what colour, though often black is often used...
• a white candle or two... (matches to light)...
• a small bowl of water...
• some salt - about 1/4 cup... (a natural salt like pink Himalayan is good)..
• some small stones or one stone (from the earth that represent your grief/sadness/fears)...
• anything else that you wish to include that represents your grief/sadness, etc...

Assemble all your items + to prepare/create ceremony... 
(can be offered inside or out)...

• be in a quiet space and mindfully open + create a container of sacred space around you... whichever way works for you, as it’s important to ‘be’ in a safe space (ie., turn off phones, etc)... 
• light the candle(s) - which opens the ceremony...
• place the salt in the bowl of water + mix...
• spend some time with each item you have chosen to represent your grief/sadness/fears and when you feel ready, using your breath with intention, blow your feelings into the stone... letting them go to our Mother earth - who will hold those feelings safe within Her belly... 
• sit within the peace of quiet for as long as you need... knowing that the salt water will draw the grief/sadness/fear out of your body... 
• when you feel complete, blow the candle(s) out - which completes the ceremony... and close your sacred space around you...
• your can either wrap your bundle or place as an altar in a special sacred place in your home... 

You can choose to offer this ‘grief ceremony’ as many times as you feel you need to... and when you feel ready, you can disperse the stones back to the earth by burying them, or placing them in the ocean - which will also continue to clear for you...  

It’s an honour to share this simple, yet powerful process with you...
it is my hope it can help during this time or anytime you are in need...
with much love + light, weaver x (((o)))

*NOTE:  ‘dark and heavy energy’ (like grief/sadness, etc) is not negative, positive or bad energy... it’s just simply ‘heavy and dark‘... and it can weigh us down... This type of energy doesn’t serve and often, it’s not even ours to hold... See energy as light or dark, and know the ‘dark’ can be released easily... we don’t have to feel we have to hold onto it... One of the many gifts our blessed earth Mother offers is, She can release that ‘dark’ energy for us - She transforms it, like compost, back into Light - which is who we truly are! 

NOTE:  re washing or what to do with the stone/stones after...
it’s up to you what you choose to do with your stone/stones... check in with them + ask.. sometimes stones have done their work + tell you they need dispersing... they are the wise ones + the story-tellers of our blessed Mother... the land.  and they will tell you.. use all your senses to hook in, ask + listen... as we all connect in different ways.. some see, some feel, some hear, taste, etc.. etc... hope that helps... 
with brightest blessings of much love, wx (((o)))

This post is to explain, why the ‘big hair’ from a past post titled, ‘my first drum-set is the one i’ll love forever’ >>

Back in 2008, i was accepted into the Vancouver Pride In Art juried art show called “Gender Twist”...  i was thrilled my painting ‘then i smoked a peterson pipe...’ was a part of this wonderful show at Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre.

It’s a self portrait i painted in acrylics on a 4 x 4 foot gallery canvas...  around the outside of the painting are the words:

​“true story... everybody thot i wuz a boy... so, i got my hair permed thinkin’ that would fix it... but that just made it worse,  so, then i smoked a peterson pipe...”

It’s funny, i wasn’t really sure i’d  be accepted into the show... when i entered my submission, i hadn’t painted the final size painting yet... i initially submitted a small 1x1-inch thumbnail study... 

Well, i was accepted into the show... and then, had to paint the full size painting... i had never painted that large before... though i was up to the challenge... It now hangs in a private collection of two dear friends.  It has certainly become one ‘conversation starter’...

When i was growing up, i was definitely a ‘tomboy’.... and, during most of my youth, i was constantly mistaken for a boy... Being already quite androgynous-looking... super skinny with short-cropped hair, always in jeans or shorts, t-shirt and a hat... and, it seemed the older i got into my teens, more-often i was being called ‘son’ or folk being totally confused to ‘what’ i was... 

When i hit high school... being frustrated that folk were continually confused and now, being teased by my peers, i pleaded with mom to get my hair permed... thinking that, if my hair was curly, people would perhaps stop seeing me as a ‘boy’... 

After much pleading, mom finally succumbed to my wish and i finally got my hair permed.

However, the perm went bad turning into a big complete mass ball of frizz... 

Getting a perm didn’t work at all... it made it worse... my crazy hair made me look even more androgynous!  By this time, i was living and working at a summer job in the interior of Naramata BC...

and, “then i smoked a peterson pipe!”

I really did for a time... a bunch of us did...and no one knew who or what we were... and, that didn’t matter... anymore.

With your dear drum in hand...  
or... perhaps hold + hug your drum close... heart-to-heart... close your eyes... go within... take a big belly breath...

then, allow that breath to gently fall out... connect in... say hello to the beautiful drum spirit you care for... the spirit of your drum... a living, breathing being of sound-light... say hello... listening... 

“listen, listen, listen... to my heart’s song...
listen, listen, listen... to my heart’s song...
i will never forget you... i will never forsake you...
i will never forget you... i will never forsake you...”
-Parmahansa Yogananda

The above is one way you can connect with your drum - particularly from a spiritual perspective...  i have held weekend workshops where we explore building a spiritual relationship with one’s sacred drum...

Of course, the best way to connect with your drum is to simply PLAY your drum...  and have fun playing... that is most important... 

It’s interesting... i hear from some folk who share with me, that they feel they can’t or don’t know how to drum... i often reply, asking them... “what do you think is the first sound you ever heard was?”

It was the sound of your own Mother’s blood pulsing through her veins while you lived in her womb for nine whole months... all you heard (once your ears were formed) was the flowing of your Mother’s blood... aligned with her beautiful pulsing heart...

You sure do know how to drum because of that First Sound... that first Pulsing from within your Mother... you KNOW this sacred sound well... Our Mother taught you well... this sacred Pulse is a part of who you are... since conception imbued in Rhythm... you are Pulse... Pulse is YOU... and that Rhythm connects us all... heart-to-heart to each other... and, to our blessed earth Mother’s beautiful pulse... Her Heartbeat... the Heartbeat of our Mother...

So, if you feel you can’t drum or wonder how you can drum... just hold your sweet drum right up to your heart... hug that dear soul right to your own heart... connect to your drum’s heart for a moment... make that time... just get quiet... and, with all your senses... listen... what are you feeling?... what are you sensing?... what may you be hearing?... what are you smelling or tasting?... Connecting... exploring and knowing what senses come forward for us, let’s us know how we can connect and access the subtle messages that come from Spirit... from our dear Mother... through our sacred drums... 

Building a relationship with our drum is a practice and... to get to know each other better is to simply practice connecting... the more we practice connecting on this spiritual level... the stronger the relationship builds... 

The sacred drum is + represents the beautiful ‘voice’ of our dear Mother earth... and, what better way to re-connect with our dear Mother than with our sweet drums... sooo... i welcome you go for it... just drum her beautiful voice... have fun + play your drum... 

Below, is a wonderful list of ‘true drumming basics’ that have been shared by Dr. John Diamond who wrote the book, “The Way of the Pulse’”...  what i love about this section of his book is how to ‘get out of head’s’ when playing our drums and to simply... drum from our beautiful hearts... 

and, please... don’t forget to have fun... lots of fun!!

by Dr. John Diamond - an excerpt... with a few additions from me...

• Play with your heart: wholehearted.  And with Passion: all your fire, filled with Enthusiasm...
• Every musician emphasizes a different aspect of the totality of the song. Yours is the most important – for rhythm is the most basic as it commences at the beginning of life, in the womb.
• Choose the drum whose soul you can most easily find.  This will be the one that most expands your chest, opens your heart. (or let the drum choose you!)
• Feel your chest resonate with the drum.
• The more your palms are up, the more you can give – as your arms come down, think up – always up.  Let the music lift.  Let it rise up.
• Loose wrists, body free.  Let your whole body do the playing.
• Love your left hand.  (or your less dominant hand) It wants to play easier – and it will.
• Don’t judge your playing – for then, it is not play, but hard work.  Just aim to refine your intention.
• Think of the drum as your Mother. Are you treating her right?  We don’t beat Her... we play with Her!
• Remember the sacred drum is an instrument of of love – not war.
• It’s not the volume, but the intensity of the feeling, at even the quietest level.
• Feel the Music flowing through all your body.
• Don’t play the drums – allow them to play you.  This is called the transcendental experience.
• Always keep in mind that all of you, your Totality – body, mind and spirit – is transmitted in each and every note.
• Give all of yourself.  This is me. Here I am.  All of me, now.
• Music can be the easiest way to Heaven on earth – if we want it to be.
• Look at your hands dancing like Fred Astaires’ feet.
• Be free – take risks.  You are safe.
• Always play the melody – and sing it.
• Imagine the drum is your heart, open in song.  The music its pulse.
• Be always aware of your breath.  Never jam it.  It must always be free, for only then are you free.  You can’t breathe freely to a metronome or click track.  For they are the beat. The free breath ebbs and flows to its own deep pulsations.
• When you are playing on the Pulse, it feels like the drum is playing you... and She is...
• Get on the wave of the Pulse, and ride it effortlessly all the way to the beach!
• I am real, I’m alive, I breathe.  I pulsate.  I am not a machine.  If they want the beat, they can buy a metronome.
• Don’t count – feel.  When the math comes in, the joy goes out.
• Play with joy, with a smile.  If you aren’t enjoying it – stop.
• Never just practice – that’s just the brain.... Always play, play + play = have fun!!!  :o)​

*The above excerpt from...
The Way of the Pulse by Dr. John Diamond >>
One of my most favourite drum books of all time... i highly recommend it being a part of your library...

​with much love, weaver x (((o)))

Back in 2006, during a sacred fire ceremony, i caught a moment’s glimpse of our circle ‘stepping into our becoming’ of who ‘we’ truly are... 

crystals carried...
mindfully left behind with
light-lined mountain spirit...

rumble sounds from deep within our Mother...

lying on my back letting go... letting go...
it’s okay... just letting go...

spirials of feather wands and stones...
drumming my core out and in again...

’round and ‘round we go...
again and again...
purple flamed fires
there... reflect...

our beautiful circle...

standing up... standing ready...
within all our glory...
​power-full!

eyes shining bright... faces so star-aware...
reclaiming who we truly are...

our blessed earth Mother...
Her children... re-membering...
we love... 

with brightest blessings... x (((o)))
​by weaver © 14/08/2006

The other day, in a quiet moment... I was imagining... wondering what life may have looked like if I had grown up in a more positive environment?  Would I have more self-confidence?... be more extroverted?... would I feel as much as I do?... or see as deeply as I see? ...does it even matter?...

​Since the mark of the new year... especially during today's full moon/eclipse in cancer, i’ve been spending some good time journeying in... to that place of my own preciousness ... the place of my healed state - the light of who I truly am... it's been an interesting re-hello.........

Since moving here to beautiful Gabriola, I've learned a lot about fire... I like that I tend our hearth-fire... chopping wood, stacking, lighting... We heat our home exclusively with the wood stove... so, during the dark cold months, our fire is always going needing continual tending...

For the last couple of weeks, in the evenings, I've been quite drawn to sit on the floor, right in front of the wood stove... I love opening the door, welcoming the radiant heat blasting my face, all of me... appreciating how the warm goes right inside and through me... I'm really loving fire right now...  I know it's been helping me... 

Looking back... to a place before... little, young and wee... recalling dissonant heavy stuff that i managed to soak up like a soft sponge cuz I trusted... I felt a lot, a whole fecking lot!... took on agreements that weren't mine... didn't even belong to me...

​So i’ve been lovingly giving that heavy energy away... letting go... gifting it to the cleansing sacred fire... mindfully, safely opening up...unwinding my three worlds...

• the place of my will, at my belly of right action...
• the place of my compassionate heart of munay, right loving...
• and the place of my mind.... clear thinking, pure thought...

Choosing to empty it ALL out... that which no longer serves... all I've seen...  all I have heard... all I felt... yanking out a lot of the old threads... feeding them to the sacred flame... where my blessed earth mother welcomes my black compost, which feeds her... she then transforms that darkness back to Sami-light...resonant life... a beautiful relationship of reciprocity... I feed Her as She feeds me...

I pick it all out with my trusty seam-ripper ... cutting + pulling out long strands that have been running on automatic...in the background... like downed, live power-lines, flailing about...

After all that heaviness burns to the ground... I then gather that sweet gift of light transformed, back into my belly, heart and mind... re-informing... filling myself back up with the bright clear light of who I truly am...

hello weaver.........

It feels good to continue to rip out those embedded seams that don’t belong or match my own weave... my dreaming... 

​happy new year with brightest blessings... xo (((o)))