thank you... i trust...

This one day was an interesting one, as i found many emotions popping up—out of nowhere.  I just wanted to scream…scream out loud what was pent up inside me since this pandemic arrived.  I’ve also not wanted to do a dang thing—what is that?  Not usually me… as I simply want to just lie around like a lethargic stretched-out cat.

I chose to get outside and go for a much-needed walk, to clear my head.  Down to our local beach I went, to chill out and ask Spirit for some help.  I asked for a sign of some sort, as i was feeling pretty disconnected…discombobulated.  

There’s definitely an ‘uncertainty’ that this covid-time has brought.  I have found the ‘not knowing’ of many, many things rattles one’s being-ness.    

I’ve lost a lot of work during this covid time—gone.   All of it…

So, off I went and made my way down to the beach.

I sat on the warm sandstone in quiet for a bit and then was prompted to walk out to the water’s edge.  I really appreciated the fresh winds, smells of the beach, and the tide being way out.  I could even hear sky drummers (thunder) playing off in the distance. Opening my arms, I let salted winds blow through me, dropping a heaviness I seemed to have been holding.

As i walked  back from the water’s edge, to my left, a blue heron fell out of the sky, gently gliding down onto the beach, not 15 feet from me.  Oh, sooo beautiful.  I was frozen in awe while the heron fished in a little tide pool, calmly sauntering its way to the ocean’s edge.  I offered gratitude for the beautiful gift of heron—so close. 

All of a sudden, breaking my relation, my moment with the heron, I could hear off in the distance someone yelling loudly. When I turned around, I saw a man standing and holding onto his bicycle, yelling something incessantly and at the top of his lungs. There was no one on the beach except me and the heron.  It was hard to decipher what he was shouting through the sounds of the beach, the wind and the waves.  

The heron and I just stood there.

I could hear that he wanted me to back away from the heron!  I wondered what his problem was. 

My first reaction was to yell right back at him, to express assault in return.  I felt upset about this verbal attack—it rudely violated my sacred moment.

Nonetheless, I chose to ignore him by simply turning around.  The heron seemed unaware of what was happening—as it continued to leisurely saunter, hunting for a next morsel.

Connecting back with the heron, I returned to my feeling of being lifted by this beautiful stately bird. Of being so close to this being who didn’t seem bothered whatsoever.

I turned back to see if the upset man was still on the road; he was now gone.  “What was that all about?” I asked myself… I guess someone just had to vent. 

Turning to make my way back, picking up a few shells here and there along the way, I walked up the beach and onto the road, I made my way back home.

A dear friend driving by pulled over to say hello.  We shared mutual challenges and grief—having aging parents in locked-down care homes and hospitals and how hard it felt, being so far away from them.  Knowing that this crazy pandemic isn’t ending anytime soon, I wondered if I’ll ever get to see my mother (93) again, as she was in hospital on the mainland, having fallen and breaking her hip.  My dad (94) was in dementia care in White Rock.

While we chatted, my eye caught five or six ravens shouting vociferously as they played in the wind together, high above the towering firs.  My friend and I shared much needed tears, gave each other a big, distant hug and each headed back to our homes—I on foot and she in her car.  It felt good to connect with another dear human again.

Turning the corner to my road, I spotted a flicker woodpecker (the drummer) who cried out in the woods beside me. I smiled, thanking my dear ally for the percussive hello.  As  I walked towards our lane, in a neighbour’s yard, a beautiful young doe poked her head up out of the long grass.  We both said hi through our eyes, then she slowly followed me down the gravel road—and my heart was smiling.

I sure did receive a message—gifts of deep connection of the heart, the pulsing of our blessed earth Mother... shapeshifting magic within the void of sweet Spirit...self-reliance, and wisdom evolving to a higher place of consciousness and choice—in the present moment.

I am very blessed to be here now, in this sacred, green place... Thank you sweet Mother, great goddess, Gaia.  Thank you for holding my back... I bow in deep reverence… Thank you… I trust.

much love,
weaver x (((💜)))

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photos by carol weaver © copyright 2020