heart strings... oh, how strong + fragile we are...

I birthed my first drum over 25 years ago with my first teacher in Celtic shamanism.  It sure was an amazing and growing experience.  Back in the early 90s, i was part of a sacred healing circle of about 15 or so women where together, we all birthed the same type and size of shamanic drum - a 16-inch Elk...

At the time, when i was apprenticing, i was asked to help out with that women's drum birthing workshop - being in charge of care-taking the hides... which meant making sure the hides were soaking well overnight in my studio-space bath tub.   The next day, i brought them all back to our workshop space for us to birth our drums in ceremony.

Back then, i was vegetarian and for me, to handle huge soaked Elk hides was a tad un-nerving, to say the least - especially after they had soaked all night, weighed a ruddy ton!!  They also smelled horrible and felt sooo alive!  I learned that when an animal has been chosen or chooses to transition it's life to become a sacred drum - that, during the sacred act of birthing a drum, they are reborn to be in service to our blessed earth mother - to now be her steward as her sacred voice, heart-beat-pulse... learning this helped a lot for me during this time in my life...

When i got back to the workshop space with the wet hides, the teacher asked me to lay them all out on top of a large tarp and told all the women to choose one...  As i was putting them out, each woman quickly chose their own, where, very soon only one hide was left... i didn't get to choose - my drum's voice/hide had been chosen for me!

Learning how to pull a big drum with a very thick Elk hide (as a full-wrap around the hoop) wasn't an easy task - on top of sitting on the floor to do it... Our teacher also didn't really show us how - she basically walked around the room dropping us each an instruction booklet that had come along with the drum supply-kits she had ordered from Cedar Mountain Drums in Oregon... I have to admit, i did find it challenging to birth my first drum having to read the steps line-by-line... I remember sweating a lot that day = definitely a labour of love...

​As we all came to completing our drums, the teacher did come around at that point to help us with the final pulls to make sure the strong thick hide was completely wrapped smoothly around the frame.  I was quite happy to have the help at that point as my hands were so sore and tired...

While the hide was still wet, when i held it up with the light shining through, the shape of a huge bird in flight revealed itself right through the middle on the back side... Though, when my drum was birthed, as she dried and came into being, a new spirit emerged forward in the front ... i saw the amazing old face of an old white grandmother wolf... she was stunningly beautiful and so present... and has been a part of my special drum ever since her birth... One time, years later, a beautiful Metis elder asked to sing a wolf into my drum as she knew that spirit was very present as a part of my sacred drum... i was deeply honoured to be witness as she sang her sacred gift into my drum... grandmother wolf is still very present guiding me...

The whole process of birthing my own shamanic drum was life-changing for me and, i have been deeply blessed to have had the opportunity to share and pass on the gifts that were shared with me - to assist others to birth their own sacred drums and continue to.  My sweet drum has taught me a lot over the last 25+ years and continues to... Through her, our blessed earth mother continues to share deeper teachings to share with others and my students...

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my heart strings...

my heart strings... on my old elk soul, grandmother wolf...

What i found amazing back when i birthed that first drum was, how amazingly strong and resilient rawhide lacings are when wet and dry...

Rawhide dries very rock-hard strong... and when i look at a few of my lacings on the back side of my drum, i am still amazed as to how strong yet vulnerable and fragile they are... and so are we... my own 'heart strings' have been good teachers...

These lacings are still holding the voice of my drum very strongly - even after 25+ years! 

This, my first drum i birthed... my beautiful grandmother wolf drum, my dear friend and ally continues to reflect to me my own inner heart strength and the fragility of all life... She teaches me that it's okay to be vulnerable and that i have the power of choice within any given moment to resonate who i truly am as a be-ing of light and love...

I stand within this present moment... to offer my deep appreciation and gratitude for the gift of the sacred, healing drum - and all that she continues to teach me... I also give many thanks to my teacher who shared the gifts she had been given, to me...  thank you grandmother wolf for being a beautiful teacher...
​in deep munay of love + light, weaver x (((o)))

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heart strings...

​photo @ right...

An actual photo of heart strings (tendons) inside the human heart...

It is known that the heart strings can sometimes break after a deep emotional trauma causing the heart to lose form and, as a result be unable to pump blood effectively... You can literally die from a broken heart...

Oh, how fragile, yet so strong we all are.......x (((o)))

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