Good News!  I've been celebrating - a lot of late!... because dear laughing wolf has found her new voice!

As some of you may know, it was about three years ago or so that this amazing sweet drum accidently fell and her beautiful voice/hide was torn and cracked wide open... i wrote about it in a blog post and again when deeper teaching came for me later on another post...

Part of why it took so long for her to sing again was, it was a bit of a challenge to find a new hide that was actually big enough and thin enough to fit her amazing 27-inch red oak steam-bent hoop...

When i asked the guys at the drum-supplier i work with, if they had any goat hides larger than 33 inches in diameter, they laughed replying that goats here just don't grow that big.... Though, they would let me know if something that large may come in.   They never let me know... so, i thought to myself that perhaps i may not find a hide that would be similiar to what she had before or big enough.   So, dear laughing wolf sat has remained open with no voice for the last three years.  I sure have missed her!

I considered using another type of hide though, it never seemed right... so, i continued to call and ask spirit for her new voice to come - trusting that perhaps one day, it would come.

A few weeks ago, i was back at the supplier picking up stuff for two drum-birthing workshops i had coming up for Vancouver and Gabriola.  After finishing going over the orders, i took a chance and was moved to ask the guys once again, if maybe they might have any large goat rawhides in stock - maybe one?... 

Lo and behold, Francis said he thought they might... and off he went out to their other room to check and.... brought back a large goat hide.  Together, we measured it up... it was real close to the size needed and so, i decided to take it home.

One of the first things i did when i got back was, to lay laughing wolf's beautiful hoop on top of the new hide to see if it was going to fit!  I was elated - it did!

About a week later, with the assistance of dear Joanie, we re-birthed laughing wolf... and, it was a beautiful thing to do together... and i have to say, she sure turned out beautiful... being a part of her new birth was a moving and deep experience for both of us... it was definitely a birthing, that's for sure... 'cause she's one big drum!  It was a big labour of love andi couldn't wait to 'hear' how she came through........

So, on a Sunday evening, the night before the full moon, on November 13th... i was thrilled to re-awaken laughing wolf along in sacred circle with wonderful dear souls here on Gabriola.... i can't tell you the joy we all felt to be witness to her sacred sounding and enlivening in that new-birth moment... it made me realize just how much we have missed each other and to again, begin building a whole new relationship - getting to know one another yet again...  Thank you Colleen for holding the space for us to do that... with much appreciation and joy....

Many years ago, laughing wolf, a beautiful qilaut frame drum was birthed for me - by master drum maker, John Millen of Thunderheart Drums in Baltimore... John is retired now... and three years ago, he was kind enough to share with me how he birthed a drum like laughing wolf... i wish to thank you so much John for your wonderful sharings and for birthing this beautiful sacred drum for me all those years ago...  

with much love to you with hoards of light... weaver x (((o)))
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Below is a short video to hear her new voice............ x (((o)))

all above photos taken by carol weaver © 2016 copyright - all rights reserved

update:  I thought i had repaired that little tear i wrote about a few posts ago - when laughing wolf accidentally fell and was wounded.... and out of the blue one day, i discovered the tear had split even more... it had grown sooo long that dear laughing wolf now requires a complete re-skinning... she will never ever sound or look the same again...... a major 'death' of sorts... stuff is definitely shifting...

Ouch!... it all feels pretty strange that she is no longer 'playable' or sounding her beautiful resonant voice... soon, i will be removing her beautiful torn goat hide and have called + prayed for a new voice-hide to come so i can re-birth her...

A wonderful thing has happened during all this... spirit guided me to finally find and re-connect with John, the dear man who originally birthed laughing wolf - it was wonderful to re-connect with him again and he has taught me much about this sacred drum... thank you John with so much gratitude and appreciation... i am so very glad we are back in touch... he is freely sharing his knowledge with me to re-birth laughing wolf myself this time... 

I know deep in my heart that i am grieving and at the same time, very aware that i am in a deep place of transition of 'what's next?' = a new pacha... the tear actually originated from the place of the east - the place of my 'becoming' and new birth...

I also find it quite interesting that i am care-taking yet another sacred drum without her hide and no physical voice... (the other is windwalker)...

Recently, i was guided to ask a question of an elder grandmother...

"Is there a message from our blessed earth mother's 'deep heart'?...

Without hesitation, a deep teaching came through dear grandmother...

"The deep heart of the mother needs healing........."

"...What does mother's deep heart need?...

"...allow your self to experience the frequency of that call........... [pause]...

...allow your self to know...if you hold your hands in Gaia mudra - with the thumb and the tip of the index finger together and the other fingers stretched out straight.........."

"...Your body is the deep heart of the mother... the mind and every cell of your body, in every nucleus of every cell is a resonant frequency that absorbs the messages from the deep heart of mother earth..."

"...You are the deep heart... when you go into the forest... you are the deep heart when you ride your horse over a pasture... you are the deep heart of the mother when you're swimming in an ocean - not a chlorinated pool..."

"...You are the deep heart because you're 70-80% liquid... When you're in a powerful natural setting, you are receptive to the 'signature' and 'pulses' of 14 billion years of earth...and, that's the message from the deep heart...and my advocacy for you is to join us in a journey to the deep heart of the mother..."

"...She is we and we are she now........."

Thank you grandmother for this deep teaching... with so much gratitude...

Perhaps having the responsibility of two very special sacred drums in my care at the moment, is teaching me a 'whole' new way of 'listening'... a way of 'wholeness'... 'be-ingness' and 'open-ness'... perhaps my dear drum - these two dear sacred drums are 'drumming me' for now...

...and that's okay - for now...

I continue to await for 'what's next' knowing deep within my own 'knower and the known' that, all that matters is the present moment of right now...

Bright blessings to you all with deep love and hoards of light - i look forward to being in sacred circle with you soon.... weaver x (((o)))

PS... another update... what's interesting is that my teacher's drum broke almost the same way two weeks prior to my drum breaking... of which i can't help knowing that perhaps this relationship of 'teacher/student' has come to a much-needed close...

"The wound is the place where the light enters you..." -Rumi
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there are no accidents! x (((o)))

Talk about timing... it happened right out of the blue, just a couple days before our winter solstice sacred drum circle + ceremony this last December...

laughing wolf, the 27-inch sacred 'big' wind drum that i humbly caretake and carry suddenly fell down - and she fell down hard...

At first i thought she was okay however, with a closer look, her beautiful goat hide had been torn from the impact of the fall in the lower southeast...

OMG, yikes!...my heart sank. I closed my eyes and was immediately catapulted to the center of my heart... all i could do was take one grrreat big deep breath and prayed....

Initially i wanted to cry right out loud... I believe a year or more earlier i certainly would have...

In that moment of stark-reality as i hugged onto to my dear wounded drum... what i felt was a strange deep calm of sorts...

Breathing certainly helped in a huge way...

I also knew that this happening that happened to my sacred drum - an instrument sooo dear and close to me was probably some kind of 'shift'... perhaps a new pacha (time) has come right 'now'...

Oh, how the sacred drum can place us in the present 'now' moment - even when i wasn't even playing her!

This happened to one of my other drums about 11 years ago that also marked a new pacha shift for me...

So, what is this present 'wounding' informing? What is the 'healed state' my dear drum showing me now?...

I re-membered the beautiful quote by Rumi...

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."

Well... the light was definitely shining through me and that torn and ripped hide! And she had lost her voice - sounding like a buzzing, flapping piece of paper... oh my and wow.............

A few days later, a friend pointed out that the tear held an interesting shape... she shared with me that she saw a snake's head with a forked tongue (see photo above)...

How fitting to see sachamama/amaru the serpent of light now sitting so prevalent in the southeast of my drum facing east... This archetype traditionally sits in the medicine wheel in the south-place of the "physical"... Also, in the east, the 'eagle-place', the place of our "becoming"... new beginnings and vision...

I know from this past year i have been dealing with some health issues a number of times - i am very aware i must attend to another layer of physical healing to embrace the "light" of who i truly am - without fear... my dear sacred drum has yet again revealed a 'healed state' for me on so many levels... and, i give thanks for this...

I managed to repair the tear in time for the ceremony and it seems to have healed her for the time being - if i can call it that... I was thrilled she sounded again - tho, not quite the same as before... there is a new sound now within her sound it seems... perhaps there is a whole new "light-frequency" that has been birthed on some level...? Our winter solstice ceremony was beautiful as we welcomed the new light coming...

I can still see the light shine through her new "open" amaru-serpent shape on her hide when i play her - reminding of the deep healing i have been given layer by layer as i continue my journey of the 'wounded healer'...

As i still 'grieve' what happened and move through this recent 'wounding'... i remain "open" to what is next...

One thing i know and have learned yet again is that "things never stay the same" that's for sure! I welcome this new year and new pacha time with excitement of what's next...

Bright blessings to you all dear friends... 
with love and light, weaver x (((o)))