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carol weaver, creative dreamer…
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my journey birthing a womyn’s frame drum…

3/8/2023

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I recently birthed a womyn’s red frame drum for a local curated art show that’s coming up through our local Arts Council and it took me a month to complete—over a full month’s moon phase… and completed it on International Women’s Day, March 8th, 2023.  

​It will be a part of a curated art show here on Gabriola, through the Triumph  program, Covid + Climate Change which opens the weekend of March 17th.
—> more to come, below is a slideshow of some of my process and my artist statement below that… i will add to this when i can… 
The Voice of Our Mother Earth
​mixed media; wood, rawhide, leather, plant dye/acrylics/gold leaf
size: 16-inch diameter x 2.75-inches high

my artist statement…

Picture
I came into this world drumming and have been birthing drums for the last 30 years since I was apprenticed by my teacher.  How I approach my drum making art is through intuitive inquiry and contemplation.  I allow the elements of wood and skin to inform me of what wants to come through as art.  There is much spirit within the wood and skin; everything holds meaning for me and a big part of my spiritual practice.
​
The drum is universal and considered sacred in many cultures dating back to the neolithic age and beyond.  The drum represents the ‘voice of our Mother earth’ and She is the earth.

When I considered responding to this call, my first thought was; ‘We as a mass consciousness have truly lost our right relationship to our earth Mother.  For We are the earth and We are sick and broken—hence why we are now dealing with climate change and COVID, etc.  After a number of sleepless nights and insight received, I realized that our Mother earth wanted to be a part of this show, that She wanted ‘Her voice’ in the room.

My process:  I always paint something red in the inner hoop of the drum to honour the animal that gave its life to become a drum—also an honouring of the ‘blood of the Mother’, and a re-birthing to become a drum as wood + skin are in essence, living, breathing beings.  Also, in the inner hoop are over 350 burned-in prayers.
The ‘bones’ of the drum: Local yellow cedar is sacred to these lands: it offers protection, cleansing and is known as the ‘world tree’. 

The ‘voice’ of the drum: Goat spirit holds the energy of strength, trust and standing one’s ground for Mother earth.  I have dyed the goat skin in natural plant dyes and the gold leaf dot/poppy flower placed on the drum’s center represents ‘the compacted energy of the universe before the first sound’… or, the ‘point from which creation begins.’ It also represents renewal and remembrance and honours the Slavic half of my ancestry.  There is also a ‘wound’ that has showed up on Her face, within the hide.

The colour red is significant in ancient womyn’s frame drums which were often painted a red ochre representing the earth Mother, women’s blood mysteries, fertility and birth.  This drum is played with the hands/fingers and one’s voice.
​
I invite you to engage/play/sing with this drum and sound our Mother’s voice.  What does She have to say?  It is my hope that my drum birthing art helps us to reconnect to our earth Mother, to once again, hear Her sacred voice, as we once did. She is indeed our Source, not a resource, for we wouldn’t be here without Her!


I wish to thank all those within the beautiful community in which we live… who helped to bring this dear drum into being…
Joanie Wright, my life-long partner for her loving support + beautiful hands, Jan Pullinger, Louse Rebelle, Heather Menzies, Joke Mensink, Anita Jackel, Allannah Dow and Carol Ferguson and GAHC crew for saying yes — i couldn’t have done it without you!

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i see you...

11/27/2020

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So... last tuesday, after having a deep healing session, i was standing in a long line-up at our post office, freezing my butt off when... i was nudged to look up....

and there, right above me.... a lovely white cloud shape-shifted into one beautiful smiling being...stunning spirit.........

i asked, “now, who are you?”
she replied, “i see you...............thank you for seeing me...”

​then she was gone.........x
photos by weaver © 2020 all rights reserved....
more to come... with much love,
​weaver x (((o)))
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great mother bear calls me yet again...

9/4/2019

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"Mother, Bear...
   invites me...
      into her darkly cave...
         where silence surrounds... the answers She gave..."
photo + art © 2019 by weaver...my recent "falling red leaf" sacred drum...
 "Interesting..."
is a word you may hear me utter... usually when i can't explain something... or i've experienced something profound through Spirit...  Recently i had a re-visit from Mother Bear... a spirit Bear...

​It seems my life's journey holds quite a magical bent... and, often feel like i don't know what i'm doing half the time... oh, i know that's a self-judgement... though i do "keep on keeping on"... staying on my path as best i can... and when i allow... 'magical stuff' can happen and will show up... usually when i least expect it... 

Recently, i was chatting with a dear friend about my creative process... and, how my own intuitional knowing doesn't always inform at the time i would prefer it... though, my inner knowing, creative sourcing will often kick in much later, sometimes days or weeks later or... my knowing informs in a whole different route than expected.  I would never claim i'm psychic though, know i'm definitely spirit-guided, individually intuitive with much gratitude... i am so blessed with a heck of a lot of unseen help from the Spirit realm... I am one lucky bum...

"living breathing light...
push kawsay holographic...
i know i'm out there..." 
--Haiku by weaver...  

The word, "kawsay" (pronounced cow-sai), comes from the beautiful Quechua indigenous language meaning, "living breathing energy... life force, energy that animates the universe: it comes from the collective, from genetics and from spiritual energy... life, everything is energy; of the major organizing principles... energy that permeates all of Creation on various vibrational levels..." 

One potent teaching i received during my years of advanced shamanic training was to practice "pushing the kawsay"... This word reminds me of the Gaelic phrase, "Òran Mór" which means, the 'Great Song' of the Universe... where, everything has a song... it's own frequency and vibration... everything is singing!

Back in high school, an art teacher i had, eventually realized that it was best to remove me completely from the classroom, in order for me to be able to connect with 'my muse' and get some work done... as i tended to be over-disruptive during class... Mrs. Plummer would assign an art project where everyone would begin creating except me... i'd just sit there, staring about, not knowing what to do for the duration of the class, goofing off... It's like, i had to kick the assignment 'out there' to the art-goddess or whatever, and patiently wait for 'it', whatever 'it' was, to return back to me when 'it' was ready... i couldn't force it - believe me, i tried... 

Often, Mrs. Plummer, frustrated with my behaviour, would set me up alone in an empty classroom with art materials and sure enough, i'd eventually create - the 'muse' would finally fall out of me and i create stuff i never even knew i could create = was that me that did that?... I know now that i was perhaps"pushing the kawsay"...  I also visited the Principal's office way too often...

We're presently in the cycle of Lughnasadh  or Lúnasa from the Celtic realm of Scotland + Ireland... also known as Lammas in England... a seasonal one of four fire festivals... marking the time of harvest before the Celtic New Year of Samhain arrives at the end of October... On the wheel of life, we're also in the direction of the West, the time of the 'falling leaves' who teach us how to simply 'let go' with ease and grace... A dear friend recently shared with me that the leaves have "worked for and created much...they give to protect Mother Earth - there is much to learn here..."

Lughnasadh marks the beginning cycle of the noticeable descent of the Sun into the darkness of winter.  From the connection between the Earth (female principle) and the Sun (male principle), the union of the Sky Father (Sun God) with the Earth Mother we celebrated at Bealtaine, emerge the fruits of the first harvest of the year... Lughnasadh is a time of joy and celebration about the first fruits.  It is also a time of tension, because the dark days of winter are coming nearer, and most of the harvest is not brought in and stored away quite yet.

So, during this turning of the wheel is also a place of 'going within'  and introspection as we move more and more into  a cave of darkness, as our dear Mother slowly goes to sleep to deeply rest and regenerate during the cycle of winter... 

photo © copyright 2019 by weaver...gabriola living art... photo by weaver...
Three and a half years ago, before we moved to Gabriola, i had a very strong dream about a huge mother bear that 'sniffed me out'... I wrote about this powerful dream on my blog back in 2016 >>  I know that this dream marked a shift for my partner and i, in finding a new home... where, now we live on beautiful Gabriola Island, a 20-minute ferry ride from Nanaimo,  BC...  We never dreamed of living here before that dream...

​Interesting...

​Living here has been nothing short of magical where, every day we both continue to pinch ourselves... so deeply aware of the amazing blessings we continue to receive... with many new close friends, a nurturing supportive community and holy wow, a stunning beautiful sacred land to live upon the ancient sacred unceded territory of the Snuneymuxw people...

photo © copyright drumweaver.com...meet stone being, big Mother Bear... photo by weaver ©...
This past week, i was being called (more than once), to go back to a special place, a good walk from our home... to visit a very large stone-being i had unexpectedly met on one of my walks, a couple of years ago.  I seem to connect with big stone beings... they often like to reveal their faces to me... why, i do not know...

I recall being guided  off the main road to a trail i wasn't aware of... There was a sign that read, "public access"... so, i cautiously climbed down the steep, rocky-rooted trail... that led me to a high cliff above the ocean.  What a beautiful place i had stumbled on and i was all by myself and it felt so good to be there!...  I hold a fond memory of sitting in reverent silence for a long time on that sunny-warmed boulder... 

I was moved to explore, hiked around, up and down the dry, wild terrain... the place felt particularly special... inviting... covered in crunchy long grasses, stones, fallen branches, lichen, old gnarly arbutus, garry oak, maples, towering rock walls and honkin' huge boulders... I was drawn to head over to one very grand stone... right at the edge of the cliff... i asked permission to come close and was invited to connect with this big being... 

Again, i sat in still reflection as i gratefully leaned my stiff back into the side of this big loving rock that was probably 30-40 feet long and say,15 or more feet tall at her high point - she was one huge presence!... i made an offering of thanks for the gift of just  'being' in and on this beautiful sacred space, adoring the feeling of being deeply supported... sensed healing vibrations filling my body and weary soul...  I had such a wonder-full time with myself that afternoon filled with much gratitude and appreciation... 

Heading back up the rough trail to go home, i remember being nudged to turn around, being blown away by what my eyes saw, where i had just been, though didn't realize... that i had been communing, connecting with one very large Mother Stone Bear!! 

There she was in all her majesty, revealing herself from her side perspective - she was a megalith and oh, that shining face!  This was one big bear... a Mother Bear.   I stood there forever within utter awe... i couldn't take my eyes off of her... my heart safely opened... I was drawn to take a photograph of her because she was so stunningly beautiful... especially the way the warm sun lit up her sleek kind face... I'm so glad i still have that photo of her...

Interestingly... ... the spirit of the Bear sits in the West on the Great Song-Wheel of Life... representing introspection, reflection, slowing down, rest, respite, death and rebirth... going within during falling leaves time, to enter her embracing dark cave... to hibernate, heal + regenerate... Bear can also represent primal power, sovereignty and right-brain intuition coupled with instinct...  She also connects us to the beauty of art... re-bonding us with the very deepest of our ancestral roots within the belly of the Mother... She helps us to be in touch with the Primal Mother - the Bear Goddess Artio who will defend you fiercely from all uncertainty... 

Ancestral roots?... ... interesting...

The cave of Mother Bear is where She seeks answers while hibernating and dreaming... She then lazily awakens in the Spring, just like all the colours that emerge, awakening the power of the unconscious... Mother Bear asks us to walk the path of inward silence of the West ... to calm our inner chit-chat... the place of rites of passage... a path to the dreamtime... to dream our lives into being... along side with our dear Mother's own dreaming... 

photo © copyright by www.drumweaver.com...no trespassing!...
This last week out walking, with full intention of honouring a strong pull to go back ... to visit the Mother Bear Rock once again...  Somehow i knew i needed to go though, wasn't really sure why... Was She calling me?... i don't know...

However, when arriving at the spot i remembered where the trail down to the cliff was, i noticed that there were new "private property" signs up to the right of the "public access" sign entrance... 

I carefully made my way down the rocky dry uneven trail... when i inched sideways further, there was also, a chain-link fence up, blocking the whole way to get down to where i knew Mother Bear was at the cliff's edge. 

I was royally annoyed.  Why was this barrier keeping me from visiting Mother Bear!...  I was sure She was calling me... Maybe not.  What happened to the 'public access' that's no longer public? What?... Whoever had bought the adjacent property next to the 'public access' marker had completely blocked any entry down to cliff's edge anymore... How dare they?

Yearning for another way... i was determined to get to Her and know why i was being so called...  I made my way down along the stupid fence... and, off to the left, discovered a steep climb towards the lower cliff though, noticed there was yet, another 'no trespassing' sign at the bottom...  Stink.  I'm really not going to get there, am i?.... not legally anyways... I began to make my way down though soon was 'told to stop'... I climbed back up, irked.

I kept asking myself, "Why was this being so difficult, being blocked?" ... Had i not been respectful with the Spirits?  Do i need to ask permission? 

I haven't asked permission...

I humbly asked with an old tree that was poking itself out horizontally towards the sun and Salish Sea... i pulled a small stone out of my pocket, mindfully blew some prayer though it, tucking as an offering in the bark of the tree, then sat down in deflated silence... i asked...

Awaiting some kind of reply, i heard a raven vocal-ing above... as shared air swished through her wings as she passed over, landing in a nearby branch... i asked again.

"You can connect with me from here now you know..." I heard in the middle of my head... I smiled, "Of course, i know that..."  The inner voice then whispered... "Go to Drumbeg..."

spirit bear wooden statue by Chrystos...spirit bear wooden large carving down the road from us - by Chrystos...
Go to Drumbeg?... huh?... that didn't make sense... Drumbeg Park is at the other end of the island... I didn't trust the last message... what i thought i had heard... 

​I sat for bit longer with the tree... feeling kind of bothered and disappointed though, enjoyed the birds flying about... As i mentioned, i usually don't "get" messages like other intuitive folk seem so easily - i'm often intrigued and impressed by their adeptness in this world... if i'm lucky, and if i'm listening, a teaching or message often comes much later... usually in an unexpected or round about way... (what else is new?)...

Discouraged, i stood up to leave... i gave up... thinking i should just go home to get some work done... making my way up the same route i had come down... got in the car and drove to Drumbeg instead... Why not?  It's a beautiful sunny day... I can work later... i should treasure these last warm days of summer...

"I didn't hold you when you were born...
cuz I knew you were going to be adopted so soon...
I didn't name you either... couldn't do it... it was just too hard..."

--Marlene, my birth mother...
​
Picture
I love the beautiful scenic drive to Drumbeg Park... 15 minutes later, i arrived at the other end of the park...  with wooden flute in hand, made my way down a narrow path navigating over a number of large washed up logs and entered the beach.  I looked around noticing there were some tourists off to my left... so... gazed over to my right and was thrilled to see one amazing rock wall - of which i hadn't noticed at that side before!

I was drawn to head over to the rock wall to check it out.... Getting closer i noticed one very intriguing large boulder rock - that had been eroded from the inside out over time by the sea and frost... We have many large sandstone and rock like this all over the island - many of which you can crawl or sit within... One of our island's most famous is the Malaspina Galleries at the north end of the island off Taylor Bay Road.

Picturefrom behind, a face...
I carefully edged my way around this huge rock and noticed from it's back, it held quite an interesting, almost Mayan-like profile of a face... 

I explored rock to rock along the wall face investigating the natural niches along the stone face... then turned around and inched my way back towards the big rock...

I was invited to climb up and get inside this intriguing rock being... i tucked my flute into my pants and scaled my way up and in and sat down on the dusty floor inside... all around me were quite a few eroded holes right though the wall of the rock where i could see through.  I got myself settled in the cocoon space and pulled out my flute... i attempted to blow for a bit enjoying the cool acoustics within... Not long after, i gave up, put my flute down and just sat in silence... perhaps i may receive a message in this old ancient stone?...

looking out...looking out...
I could hear the ocean waves crashing on the beach not far away as well as the rush of the strong rip tide... Looking out was a very tall cedar tree dancing in the light winds... overhead, a stellar's jay flew in and out it's branches chattering noisily... there were wispy angel clouds sailing that beautiful afternoon....

I sat still for about 40 minutes or so enjoying the smells and the sounds - shot some silent video of the view out... blew flute and to no avail - no sense of any message or 'hit'... why was i here???

i savoured 'being' inside this old stone... there was something soothing... embracing though couldn't seem to settle myself... So sensing good ol' time was going by, i eventually climbed back out and down onto the beach, then headed back to the car after scanning the beach for washed up treasures like, interesting small branches of driftwood and drove home...

I still felt somewhat miffed that i didn't get to see and be with the big Mother Bear Rock back off Canso Road earlier... though did enjoy my time at Drumbeg and i wasn't sure why Mother Bear asked me to go there???  Probably because i needed to let the latter piece go... 

photo by weaver © 2019...with ancient old stone...
The next day, i suddenly realized that i had indeed been with Mother Bear spirit at Drumbeg all along... I had been sharing my lovely afternoon with my partner there when, it hit me like a ton of bricks... that the big ol' rock i had climbed into and sat within in so long... i had been held in the arms of Mother Bear!!!

Mother Bear had held me................. and, i wept...

Then, two old memories surfaced out of nowhere... I remembered two times when i was quite young, incidents where i had been 'held' against my will...

I remember when i was about 3/4... my (adopted) mom attempted to force feed me a boiled egg... i didn't want to eat the damn egg - though she really wanted me to eat that egg, and, wouldn't let me go until i did... I fought and fought her trying to get away from her... though i couldn't cuz she held me so tight against her... i screamed and yelled as she pushed and shoved the egg into my tight-lipped mouth... Crumbled egg was everywhere.........eventually she did let me go...

I still dislike eggs to this day.

The other incident was when i was little older, though still very young about 5...

One afternoon at home my (adopted) dad had his friend + accountant for the Farm business over.  This man i won't name, had come to bring my dad's completed income tax back and they had sat down in the living room for a drink of whiskey.  I don't know where my mother was at the time though i remember hanging around like a kid would. 

At one point, the man grabbed me and put me on his knee... I told him i didn't want to sit on his knee though, he just laughed bouncing me up and down on his knee.  I told him again that i wanted to get down because i had to go to the bathroom... Both my dad and he seemed to find this very funny... with a drink in one hand and with his other arm, held me tight against his chest continually bouncing me up and down... up and down... i started to cry... pleading with him to let me down as i really had to go... he wasn't listening and....

i peed all over his lap................................

Laughing, he released me to the floor and i ran away feeling so shamed and embarrassed... I don't even remember what happened after that - though i wondered where my mother was during the whole ordeal?  And, to this day i wonder why my dad allowed his friend to go on as long as he did... Why didn't he look out for me?.... and ask his friend to let me go?  I'll guess i'll never know why?

Being held against my will... not feeling safe while being 'held'... 
I was never held by my birth Mother.........................

Interesting...............

Though, Mother Bear Rock... an old cold, stone, rock 'held me' within Her warm safe embrace... and, thinking back to my beautiful guided afternoon.... i did feel very safe... safe with the Mother... my blessed earth Mother...

Thank you Mother Bear... thank you...  i know you continue to hold me...

and, I am glad i can go back to visit Her anytime from anywhere... and will...
and, perhaps she'll have a message for me... later........................ x (((o)))

by carol weaver, copyright by weaver © 2019

Picture
Picture
Mother Bear stone rock photos by weaver © copyright 2017/2019...

a new drum journey with mother bear rock...

Added March 22, 2020... 
​It was She who called me to come back today...... x (((⭕️))) come be held... ❣️
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stone... memory... belonging...

5/26/2019

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Picture
where...?

takes me back to my journey with
my teacher margaret-mary...
almost 30 years ago..... 
during lammas ... walking on bodmin moor..
each foot sinking into the wet boggy ground as i walk...
my face being bit sharp... cold rainy windy shards.... 
i greet the hurlers + pipers of stone....
an awakening informs as i offer my hello + my breathing...
i have walked here before...
and my bones sing right out loud, remembering..............

​to be continued.......

weaver x (((o)))
​may 26/2019
​

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a vision...

3/17/2017

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chumpi stone
Poem

a dreaming...
to drum with our earth mother...

to connect...
be in harmony
is all we seek...

calm balance...
fresh clarity...
to seek resonance, tone, timbre, pulse...

linking up
to be one, once again...
return to source in unity

together with our blessed earth mother...

she seeks us by always
helping us remember...
being there, a constant...

offering support and nurturance...

let's offer our love and hope
with clear, whole, sound...re-connect with her deep heart-pulse...

her rhythm so constant
so strong...

rhythm gives us intent...
she keeps us going

melody is like thought...
be of like mind

harmony is emotion...

begin by giving back...
as one people

one heart, one song
side by side harmonizing...

with our body...
around her body

at one moment...

now!


© 1994  by weaver
photo of chumpi stone © 2016 copyright by weaver


weaver x (((o)))
​
Above video showing the beginnings of our dear windwalker coming into be-ing...
Thank you dear Rick for the video...
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we're moving... mama bear helps us 'sniff' out a new home...

3/11/2016

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"The Spirit of Bear:  Go Within...
Personal Strength Comes from Inner Knowing..."

- The Medicine Cards

Picturemama bear helps us sniff out a new home...
If you read my last e-News last month, you'll know that we received unexpected notice to move in January - to be out of our home by April 1st... 

And, needless to say, we didn't have much luck here in the Burnaby/Vancouver area finding anything...  As you probably know, the housing market in the lower mainland has really gone crazy with prices skyrocketing all over the place...  Also, property taxes were raised as well - here in Burnaby, a whopping 17%.

This has also affected renting in the lower mainland in a huge way... and, during our search we weren't seeing much option that was affordable nor much availability.  This really surprised and shocked us...

We were becoming concerned when still hadn't found a new home into late February... We had put out our intentions, offered ceremony and did our best to remain positive that something was indeed awaiting  us... though, time was ticking by...

One very early morning, under a few weeks ago, i was awakened by a very strong dream... When i have a strong dream like that, i know that spirit is wanting my attention...

In the dream, i am on the deck of an old rickety house in the woods... i wasn't alone as there were a bunch of people gathered about... someone warned me that i needed to be very careful to not let 'that' bear in past the gate... i was aware that a black bear was wandering about outside the gate...

I fumbled with the gate's door handle over and over without being able to keep it closed or locked...  I kept feeling a sense of urgency and frustration... this went on what seemed like, forever...

The scene shifts where i realized the bear was now coming in through the gate and onto the deck with me...  I found myself now huddled down in a far corner to protect myself from bear... i was definitely concerned and upset that i had failed with the gate...  Next, big mama bear was right over me, right up close, leaning on me and sniffing me all over my head, neck and shoulders... it was sooo real... i could really feel her... smell her and sensed her long rough fur on my skin... the weight of her head pressing her wet nose... hearing her snort and sniff....

As she continued to sniff me out, i felt some fear rise from within me... mama bear growled deeply when she sensed my fear... i realized that i had to stop my fear now and did... she wouldn't stop sniffing and sniffing... at first she was a black bear and then morphed to the colour cream and then back to black... she then stopped her intense sniffing and simply laid her head in my lap resting...

Next scene... i'm still crouched down and now two smaller animals like badgers (i think) are now on either side of me and rise up on their hind legs to sniff out my ears as intensely as the bear did!  After that, three black dogs came up onto the deck...  and, then i woke right up!  = holy whoa...

I shared my dream at our journeying circle that next week and my friend Glen offered some insight... of which i found very helpful... here's some symbolism he shared...
  • The Bear in some traditions represents personal medicine, spiritual gifting...
  • The House can represent the spiritual life or path...
  • The Gate in front are the limitations that have been placed on that path...
In the dream the house is old which perhaps has been there for a long while... a path that has been developed over time. There is a gate that blocks limits access to the house.  Sometimes the gate is open, then other times it is closed to keep the “bad” or fearful out.  At this moment I am trying trying to close that gate without success to keep that bear out. Trying to limit the the medicine on my path. (it is not a conscious, effort)...

Despite my best efforts to keep the bear out, the bear gets past the gate and past the limitations that have been placed in its path.

The good news is that the medicine is morphing - changing from a black bear to a Kermode or spirit bear (colour change from black to cream colour)... Still a black bear but looks very different.  The bear lays its head on my lap.  No fear - only love, peace and tranquility even though bears are huge and powerful.

Picture
My friend suggested i connect with the spirit of Bear to help me... of which i did... i connected with a lovely photo of a black bear (right)... and went within to say 'hello'...

It's interesting, back in September, a black bear paid me a visit when i was parking my car... i had just got home and was just getting some groceries out of the car when s/he came trotting right out of the forest towards me.... we shared quite 'the hello'... 

It was a brief encounter though a very exciting one... I was sooo taken with her size, beauty and grace and how fast she moved!  I didn't think much of that encounter at the time... though knew inside my heart that i had received a sweet blessing...

After the dream, we were then guided to look further for housing out of Vancouver and over to the Island in and around Nanaimo... We noticed that prices weren't so high and more affordable... perhaps there was some hope here?... The thought of moving away from Vancouver/Burnaby was a concern... as i have lived here most of my life... my family was here and my work was here...

We still weren't finding much there either when, we began to see some rentals on Gabriola Island... we had seen a couple that looked good though, we assumed were gone - as they had been posted back in January.

Something nudged us to contact one of the ads we kept seeing - just to see if maybe, it was still available and, low and behold, it was!   We made contact and arrangements to go over to 'Gabe' to have a look and meet the owner.  On the way over, on the ferry we decided to contact another more recent ad and the owner answered and she interviewed us over the phone... The owner then decided to fly out from Alberta to meet us later that next day.

So, in the end, the second house turned out to be 'the one' - as soon as we walked in the door, we both felt strongly we were 'home'... we made the decision to say yes and make this big move to 'Gabe'...

We weren't expecting this at all...  though i know deeply that spirit has directed this big move in so many ways...and time will reveal more i'm sure...  I believe that mama bear has marked this new 'pacha' for us when she showed up out of the blue last September when she walked out of the forest and completely sniffed me out in my recent dream... She helped us 'sniff' out a new home... to embrace a whole new pacha-shift in our lives.... we've been invited to go even deeper within our own spirit... an opportunity to grow a strength connected much closer to mother earth...

I now stand in complete wonder... amazement... and, some fear beginning again so anew... and some sadness all at the same time... = holy wow...

Even though we are leaving the 'big city'...the Vancouver area to live on Gabriola Island, please know i am not far away - that i will still be back working in Vancouver on a regular basis (and other areas i have been been)... please see my calendar of what's coming up in April and throughout the year... I am open to all that is new in this shifting change...  thanks for taking the time to have a boo... 

with brightest blessing of much love + light...
​weaver x (((o)))

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the malaspina galleries on gabriola island...photo by weaver © 2016
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drum buddy...

3/17/2006

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shamanic journeying cave
journey...

drum buddy...

it has been revealed to me
that there is a being
who resides in the lower world...
in a darkly cave...
abundantly covered
with thousands of
shiny crystals of light...

his or her name
i believe...
is shashen....
an androgynous being
neither male or female...
maybe both...

shashen
is a gatekeeper...

the transmitter
of the frequency
of the earth's pulse...
to the middle world...

shashen transmits
this 'pulse'
through his or her
own heart...

shashen has
to listen very carefully
and in a new way
to accomplish
this...

and so do i...

a journey by weaver (((o)))
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hawk eyes...

11/17/2005

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hawk eye

dream…

I had one of those wild, powerful dreams early this morning... just before i woke up… that's usually when these shamanic dreams show up...

Scene… I’m assisting and sharing music at a medicine wheel gathering up in the Kamloops area of BC, but not the usual place… this time, it’s different… as the group is gathering to start the weekend, the teacher and i step out of the meeting room and onto a wooden deck off the main room to discuss the agenda and what music i could share for the day…

The scene quickly changes and we’re continuing the conversation as we stand in the middle of a small orchard… the tall, dry grass is almost up to our knees and waist…and there are many small fruit trees scattered about… suddenly, with no warning or sound, and out of nowhere… what we catch a glimpse of…what seems to be a very large red-tailed hawk… it literally falls out of the sky and lands hard and loudly with a “frrrwump!” on the ground about 8-10 feet from us…

I remembered noticing that the hawk was larger than it should be… as big, if not bigger than a mature eagle... i remembered it's distinct tail feathers and colouring... we were sure it was dead by how hard it hit the ground...

The teacher suggested that i go over to check and see… that just maybe it might be alive… and so off i ran out into the long grasses... i couldn't seem to find it… anywhere near where we thought it had landed... it wasn’t there…

I looked all over a large area between the fruit trees… what i did find on the dense grassed ground, was a very small, baby flicker woodpecker... i picked it up, holding it in both cupped hands and noticed that it's wings had been slightly clipped... it was really pissed off that i had picked it up.. it quickly jumped out of my hands back onto the ground and started running away… and i would repeatedly catch it, pick it back up and hold it in my hands... we played this fruitless game a number of times… as it continued to be very annoyed with me… my justification was my concern to help as i knew it couldn't fly...

Scene suddenly changes again….

The teacher and i are both back near the meeting building… being both aware that we needed to get back to the group... we walk up a few stairs back to the deck, when i notice out of the corner of my eye, and to my right is again the huge red-tailed hawk... it has reappeared under the deck and upside down on its back with both wings completely spread open... my first thought was that it’s dead but as i cautiously walked over closer to get a better look... i could tell that the large hawk was breathing… as its wings gently rose and fell with a rhythm – upside down…

As i get closer and closer, the hawk quickly realizes that it's being observed by me... it elegantly turns and rights itself back onto it’s sharp-taloned feet… turning its head, staring at me with it's magnificent, intense yellow eyes whose light seems to laser right through my being...

and then… i wake up....

brightest blessings.... weaver (((o)))

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baby drums...

9/8/2005

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dream catcher

​dream...

This morning very early... i had a strange dream about many little drums...

I don't really remember much more about them or more of the dream... but i remember waking from the dream with the image of many, many little drums... small, little, tiny frame drums... so tiny that when i attempted to play them... i could only use my thumb and forefinger... and there were so many of them... everywhere...

It was kind of cool though... strange... very strange...

brightest, weaver (((o)))

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    i wish to acknowledge with gratitude that i live, work + play on the traditional and unceded territory of the Snuneymuxw First Nation...
    carol weaver

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